Parashat Hashavua

Portion Noah - How to Dance in Two Weddings at One Time

 Portion Noah - How to Dance in Two Weddings at One Time
 
 
Please note the below cartoon is from my friend Ernie
- and it makes a political statement with humor-
 
Did Noah dance before the flood or aftr - or both?
 
Or did he dance on Two Sides of the Ocean that his boat crossed?
 
What portions of the Torah
Do you believe - or want to believe?
 
Here is some recent finding to validate parts of bible history !
Wed, October 26, 2022 at 2:36 PM  BAGHDAD (AP) — Archaeologists in northern Iraq last week unearthed 2,700-year-old rock carvings featuring war scenes and trees from the Assyrian Empire, an archaeologist said Wednesday.

The carvings on marble slabs were discovered by a team of experts ... working to restore the site of the ancient Mashki Gate, which was bulldozed by Islamic State group militants in 2016 ..... (they were) surprised by discovering “eight murals with inscriptions, decorative drawings and writings.... in one of the largest gates of Nineveh, an ancient Assyrian city

(Remember the Jonah story as well as King Hezekiah and Isaiah stories).

 The discovered carvings show, among other things, a fighter preparing to fire an arrow while others show palm trees.

“The writings show that these murals were built or made during the reign of King Sanecherib who ruled from 705 to 681 BC (and exiled the 10 tribes of Northern Israel but could not conquer Jerusalem - despite some of his claims).

The Islamic State group overran large parts of Iraq and Syria in 2014 and carried out a campaign of systematic destruction of invaluable archaeological sites in both countries. The extremists vandalized museums and destroyed major archaeological sites in their fervor to erase history across the country, where Sumerians, Babylonian and Assyrian (and JEWS) once lived - including ABRAHAM   AND  Mordechai and Esther and MANY EXILED JEWS

Back to Noah -
 
 
How did he dance on One wedding and Make it Look Like 2?
 
Or did Noah CHANGE after the flood (when he got drunk?
 
We need to look at ancient Medrashim, because
 
the medrash said he took with him on the Ark
 vines to plant grapes the minute the flood would be over,
and
another medrash said he planted them only when he saw the devastation and losses after the flood Which Changed Him!
 
A friend of mine recalled as a child seeing waves - after a hurricane -
and being frightened for people in the water.
 
Things like the above should add to one's BibleBeliefQuotient...
 
Rabbi Carlebach said the tragedy of Noah was that he
Did Not Cry enough! Or maybe his kids just didn't listen...
 
Leaving us with need for the below cartoon.
 
As the HAFtorah we read this shabbat implies - from the prophegt Isaiah
 
that we need to look at the flood as a GIFT - (a teaching tool?) As
 
another chance after a perverse world which corrupted everything
to Start to Correct Things!
 
 
 
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Andy Eichenholz
 

Portion BeRay Sheet - point curve and Deflect

 Portion BeRay Sheet - point curve and Deflect
 
(Inspired by Rabbi Moshe Tzvi Neriya
And Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach)
 
Tell me please - 
 
Does this week's title sound like battle plans in the Ukraine War?
Or a fencing lesson?
 
So the portion starts
 
Everything was CHAOS
 
and then the Almighty said
"Let there be light".
 
If you were the Almighty, thinking 
millions would read "The Book - the Bible" -
 
how would YOU re-write the Creation Story of this Portion?
Not start with LIGHT?
 
Would you try to re-create this  CRAZY world of ours
(Or only Russia)?
Would you be
Thinking of whats important for the survival of the world past 2022?
 
Eliminate plastic bags?
Make every car "a Tesla"?
Give everyone a garden to grow their own food?
 
And - What did Adam worry about? (the "first thinking human")
 
In a Hidden Medrash Parable it says "Adam Saw 2 not 3 - and so he sinned."
He just saw himself and Eve.
So what?
 
One explanation was "he did not know he would have to invite guests". Invite  
Who?
 
NOAH had guests - all the Animals -
But Adam was limiting his view of The Creation.
 
But getting back to:
 
Chaos!
 
Imagine if everyone drove their autos with their eyes closed! CHAOS!
 
So the Almighty creates double yellow lines, and self driving cars. 
And the whole world is ALL straight lines.
 
And traffic rules.
 
BUT CROSSING THE STREETS???AND TURNS ? 
CRASH!!
 
SO G-D CREATES CURVES
 
Mercifully, so that right tutns are possible.
 
On a Simple mathematical-personal level,
Straight is okay.
 
But Rabbi Neria tries to explain 
 
how to look at Creation and respect the Almighty's perspective -
 
He created curves
Since we are ALL
 
Like bumper car drivers!
 
The Almighty created our world
Embued with curves
 
Those skills and armor to deflect conflict.
 
 
Shabbat Shalom - and Health and Blessings to All
 
Rabbi Andy Eichenholz
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
תשובהתשובה לכולםהעברה

Portion Haazinu forward from Newark on the way to Israel‏‏

Portion Haazinu forward from Newark on the way to Israel

When poetically describing the Jews’ rebelling against G-d, Moshe says, “And Yeshurun became fat and kicked [rebelled]…” (32:15). Why are the Jews called “Yeshurun,” and what does it mean that they became fat?

Rav S. R. Hirsch suggests that the Jews are called “Yeshurun” because its root is “Yashar,” or “straight.” This name symbolizes the idea that people think they are doing the right thing even while forsaking their responsibilities and heritage. Instead of using their G-d-given gifts to do good, they hoard them and become “fat” with resources. Taking the symbolism in the passuk one step further, we can understand why the word “kicked” is used to refer to the people’s rebelling; legs that are meant to move forward are instead used to kick away opportunities or resources to do good. The symbolism is vivid as it is poignant – when we are given gifts, rather than hoard them for ourselves, we are meant to use them to help others and spread kindness.

Shlomo Ressler

Portion vaYay Lech - Where did Moses really go - and Why?

 
Portion vaYay Lech - Where did Moses really go - and Why?
 
 
In this Portion, Moses is soon to leave this world,
and he is getting ready for his final song and final speech in front of all the Israelites.
 
The Torah Writes: "And Moses went" (Deut. 31:1)  Question: Where did he go?
 
One Answer sometimes given is:
The tent of Moses was outside the camp of the Israelites. When Moses desired to gather the people, he would have the trumpets blown (see Numbers 10:7) for them to gather
 
BUT On this day, his last day on earth, it would not be fitting to display the trappings of royalty, so Moses simply walked into the camp to address the people.

 

Others explain that Moses purposely displayed his physical stamina by energetically walking in front of the people. Showing that he was physically fit at the age of 120.
Then, his next words, "I am unable to go out and come in," refer to his limits in changing Torah.
 
When the gates of Torah were closed, Moses had no desire to live. (The great Rabbi Boruch Ber Lebowitz of Kaminetz (in Lithuania) heard someone proclaim, "Without Torah we cannot live!" The rabbi reportedly exclaimed, "And even if we could - who would want to?!")

 


So - Was Moses fulfilled? Or was he maybe angry or upset about not being allowed into Israel? NO WAY!
Moses lived By Force of Dedication to Purpose 
 
And so HE ADDS A NEW MITZVA even at this late date:
 
Hakhel - that every 7 years the whole people must come up to the Temple,
 to hear the reading of the Torah.
 
May we all merit to hear the King read from His Torah!
 

 

 
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Andy Eichenholz
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Portion Nitzavim and: Impersonating the Chuka Chuka Rebbe - on Rosh Hashono?

Portion Nitzavim and: Impersonating the Chuka Chuka Rebbe - on Rosh Hashono?

 

From my first book/first printing:

So let's try to understand this. One week Reb Shlomo Carlebach would say "let this upcoming Shabbos be the greatest Shabbat you ever had!" and

Then the next week Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach would say "let THIS UPcoming Shabbos be the greatest Shabbat you ever had!"

How could he say that every week? And really mean it yet!?!?

Well, just because that's the way it SHOULD BE! And it CAN be so.

With just a little learning and a little effort we can make every Shabbos better than the one before, and make every day better than the one before!

And In Portion Nitzavim Moses says: "everyone HAS to be there" -

That's the key- by inviting guests and talking about shabbat joy!

The Talmud talks about it – but the Talmud doesn't always make you FEEL how close it is to you.

You need a spark! And Reb Shlomo lit a lot of sparks.

(May his memory be blessed)

Sparks To help us learn to make a GREAT Shabbos

Every week

And especially to round off the year.

 

And yet
there are so many things and people to pray for,

and so many ways to do it,
and there's no time like the current time - and on Rosh Hashono.

Let's have a little real caring healthy New Year

Kesiva VA Chasima Tova

Rabbi Andy Eichenholz

(After consulting With Doctor Garfinkle,
Based on Doctor Mosbe Rothkopfs' Version

 

Portion Key Tavo

Portion Key Tavo
 
Overview of the Portion - from Lakewood -NJ:
 
It teaches us - Hey - the Land is 
Going to be Good - so Enter Israel!!
 
And
 
 give thanks when your fruits blossom!!!
And
That our forebears bought the land and worked it, and
 
Made peace treaties with whomever in the world would try for peace!
 
 
And later the Almighty reminds us to remind ourselves-
 
Putting up Stone Signs - when  we Cross that River Jordan!
 
Remember how the Almighty helped us cross the desert to
Get to that land!
 
BUT forgetting brings its own Curses 
 
if OIY!!!
 
if you won't believe how you got to where you are.
 
Just look what the Almighty did to Egypt!!
 
AND TODAY?
 
There is still the Stones of the Jordan
 
as a
Warning to the hashemites of Jordan - and beyond Jordan
That
 
The blessings and the curses are for the World to remember.
 
That as Rosh Hashono approaches
 
And we start a new year soon
 
Israel is the Gift of the Almighty
 
And the little spirit of Israel in each of us-
 
A little Holiness-
 
Is a gift to all the World
 
Shabbat Shalom
 
Rabbi Andy Eichenholz
 

Portion Key TayTzay- life and Times of Rabbi Akiva was in - Tel Aviv?

Portion Key TayTzay- life and Times of Rabbi Akiva was in - Tel Aviv?
 
 
The portion starts out "When you fo to war" ...
 
Yesterday Israel security forces in Tel Aviv arrested an Arab who had a machine gun and two pipe bombs  
 
He recently was released after serving 4 months in prison  for carrying a concealed weapon in a public place
Where do they get machine guns? The US gives them and trains "Palestinian Police"!
 
Thank G-d he was caught on his way before he could  kill people in Tel Aviv 
 
Being so close to Rosh HaShono - in Shul we hear the Daily Shofar - a Wake up Call ...
"Return to who you were once before..." sang Rabbi Carlebach -
Before being bombarded by media and movements and "world culture - of terrorists and apologists"
 
Rachel - wife of Rabbi Akiva - gave of herself so a great potential could become a great world force
 
Their Daughter was saved by charity - feeding a poor person thereby delaying her wedding ceremony,
she stuck her hairpins in a hole inthe wall and went to the kitchen to get the man some food -
and when she came back -
 
they both saw the hairpins had been stuck in the eyes of a snake -
which could have killed them both!
 
Yes Rabbi Akiva lived part of his life near Tel Aviv,
but the Romans took his life when he was teaching in Tiberias -
at the Sea of Galilee - 
for being a leader in the revolt against Rome
(which was successful for 3 years - the only successful revolt in Rome's history)
(in those days MOST Rabbis Ran from the Romans )
 
But he left us with a couple of holy children
some holy stories
and Genius Insights into the Torah
- which I hope to teach a bit - in New York starting next week -
thru Yom Kippur
 
Love Health Wisdom - 
and
Shabbat Shalom
 
Rabbi Andy Eichenholz
 
 

Portion Ru Ay - Oiy vey - Dont Mess with G-d or the Holi-day!

Portion Ru Ay - Oiy vey - Dont Mess with G-d or the Holi-day!

As Moshe continues his 40 year review,
He warns the nation of Israel to

Stay away from False Prophets
Like the
Soviets?
Putin? china?
Pelosi and her drunk-driver husband?
former governor Cuomo?
Atomic wanna-bees? Who are they kidding?

Greed and jealousy ruin lives - and The World

so the portion starts "take a good look"

and our sages say - it could be simply intellectual
OR
LOOK AT YOURSELVES - and get ready for the Highest Holidays
coming up in 30 days!!!

So we are told to leave a gentle "footprint"
On the Earth,
with our
Kosher laws that restrain some exceses

And the portion gives us a
Holiday calendar review - TO REMIND US TO BRING JOY TO OTHERS

(I just gave 200 shekels to a family with 4 kids who couldn't
afford shoes for the school year starting next week
nobody I know - just saw the trunk of a neighbor I trust
and it was filled with food - so I asked "for who?"

so anyone who wants to donate $10 or so to them -
or the families of the 3 fellows who were "hacked" by axe -
can get me the money when I get to New York in 3 weeks

SO PLAN FOR THE HOLIDAYS COMING UP

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Andy Eichenholz

Portion Eikev – What Moses and all great Torah Scholars for 3000 years are teaching us

Portion Eikev – What Moses and all great Torah Scholars for 3000 years are teaching us

 

As we learned together-

for my friends' son's Bar Mitzva this Shabbat

from this Portion What the Almighty wishes for all of us

 

The portion starts out with

Blessings

And that if we preserve the covenant between our forefathers and G-d

(Abraham Isaac Jacob Sarah Rebecca Rachel and Leah)

That G-d will also be merciful to us – even in a difficult world - and

Our parents and their parents have carried on that covenant – and the Almighty has been merciful to us

G-d will never forget the Covenant with our forefathers and mothers

So we should not forget that covenant either

And the Almighty does Chesed - loving kindness

And so shall we

Live doing kindness –

because that is the Jewish way of living and

We shall receive holiness in those blessings

And children

Like my wonderful family

Who are all blessings to the world and

Health – we have got to thank G d for that too

(And for all our friends and teammates) and

Later in portion when G-d tells us to

Teach to your children…. ...

We learn from that – as taught by

Rav Druck -at the great synagogue kolel who wrote in TIFERET MORDECHAI

One of his books

That when the Portion says

... "and teach your children" it means four ways of Torah teachings:

1 to keep the Torah

As the important part of our souls

And to

2

One Must Not be afraid to work and study on understanding all of the Torah books

3

Rather than only talking with others about basic things- share Torah thoughts

And don't keep holy thoughts only to yourself-

learn the joy of sharing Torah thoughts

and study

4 "the inside ...the secrets of the torah - the lights from the Torah" that guide our lives also

So Ely on Shabbat will say (and we should always remember)

Dad and Mom – thanks for loving and teaching and working with me (us) always and

I want to thank all the family

Who are also like those lights from the torah that we all need

And my grandparents, and everyone here – for keeping that covenant with the Almighty who has protected our people and our heritage for these last 3000 years,

And which it is my great privilege to continue

Shabbat Shalom to all

And MAZEL TOV TO ELY AND THE FAMILY

Rabbi Andy Chanoch Eichenholz

 

Portion Va Et Cha nan - Moses pleads, Hamas Attacks the Ten Commandments, and Politics

 Portion Va Et Cha nan - Moses pleads, Hamas Attacks the Ten Commandments, and Politics

Lets make this quick because I write this on a fast day (9 AV)

Moses left Egypt - and Moses Maimònides too -
(Also from Egypt? YES but now buried in Tiberias
where I was this week)

So what are Moses pleadings right from his first words?

(This Message Completed Friday 15th Av - a Holiday)

But Wait! Quick is not in the cards for this Portion of:

Ten Commandments (repeated in the Torah again -
now to seek World Holiness)
and
Shemah Yisrael (yes there IS a G-d)
and
And Answers (it says) you MUST teach to your Children -
Or grandchildren -who must get the points of WHY we LEFT EGYPT

Okay - quickly - the portion teaches us HOW

to love G d love wisdom love the way we are
ALL IN THE THE WORLD COMMANDED -

to Love children and Shabbos and Holiness.

Is this a little much to absorb for a summer weekend? Okay...
Certainly Hamas doesn't get it! Who are those terrorists anyway?

So why is there NO HOLIDAY CALLED HOLINESS DAY? In ANY country!

Today is "15th of Av" - sometimes called the Holiday of Love

but it is really (see the Talmud) the Holiday of Making Matches -

But Isn't That the FIRST STEP TOWARDS WORLD PEACE?

In the 10 Commandments is says
Do Not Kill - is that SO hard for nations to swallow?

How Stupid Not to end lies like UN accusing Israel every week,
and ignoring Random Missles shot at civilians by crazies in Gaza
( with a taste for blood - and money)

And the propaganda from Putin ?

and Communist China is just Testing Missles - why?
Not to frighten people into enslavement by the

Peoples Republic of Chinese Manufacturism?

10 COMMANDMENTS covers a LOT OF MILEAGE in SEEKING PEACE

WHY do cartels and drug lords stoop to terrorism and gangsterism?

Arent there any smart honest leaders in the world to stop their abuses?

So Moses pleads right from the first words of this Portion:
asking the Almighty:

I listened,
I didnt attack Edom
I only Defended when attacked by Amalek and Moav and Og

I set up Honest Courts in the desert

So
Let me please - Almighty - go into Israel

And teach the world by example

How to set up a Sane Society

The answer he got was ... it seems ... the world wasn't ready yet

Are we finally ready on this year's 15 of Av - ready
to share a HOLY vision FOR ALL

the same as we read in the Torah
"Hear oh Israel ... yes there is an Almighty -
Whose NAME is ONE?

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Andy Eichenholz